I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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