...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
