After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
