We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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