your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
