I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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