The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
