wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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