____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
