So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I touched a dick in church today
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
