...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Randomize
