She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
