I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
