so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
