Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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