I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
