Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
