Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
