I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
