office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
