I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
