just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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