the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
