some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
