so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
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