idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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