You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Randomize
