The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
