dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
