I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
