I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
