yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
