Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
