Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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