Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
