I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
