My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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