how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
