Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
