Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
