I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
