Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
