How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
