It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
