Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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