She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
