My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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