i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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