i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
organizing the empties. That sober.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
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