I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
If its not for food we ain't going out.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
