Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
